Mystery and the Mundane

The smell of incense fills the house shortly after our oldest daughter heads out the door for school in the morning. Something profound happens to me sometimes when I have a moment to myself. I sense a whiff of the perfumed chunks of resin at our prayer corner as I sip my coffee and turn on my laptop. Early in the morning, before I go to work I creep through the house to start the kettle and light the lampada. But on a day off, I stay a little longer.

There is no rush to go anywhere and the Holy Spirit nudges me to simply be in the moment. His presence, along with all our family saints, is stronger on days when I'm not going to work. And so I stand, there before the Icons. I read my morning prayers, checking my prayer book frequently to stay on track as I yawn and stretch extra low to wake the muscles in my sore back, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and fall to the ground to do another metanoia.

Thoughts of where my loved ones will be today, at school, at work, rise to my mind and I cross myself asking their patrons to watch over them; asking Christ to protect them and bring them home safely. This is not some dry, mundane ritual but an outpouring of my heart. Tears wash my eyes if I am lucky enough to have them. Contrition fills my words with something otherworldly, like honey dripping from each "Lord have mercy".
Again thoughts bubble to the surface about loved ones who need more help than our own family. Their names spill out into the ether and rise with the smoke from the coals to God.

This routine, every morning... sometimes it can be so dry, but not today. Today the Lord has touched my heart and opened my lips to bless Him. I cross myself for the last three times and the moment is gone. But still in my heart I hear it... Lord Jesus Christ (inhale) Son of God (exhale) have mercy on me (inhale) a sinner (exhale). The prayer vibrates again and again, slowly, rhythmically droning on in the background. He's still with me. I feel him calling me. He cups my heart with His hands and I am at peace, at least for now. Until I am distracted by the world again.

O Heavenly King, Comforter, Spirit of Truth...