Practical Repentance and its Fruits - by Elder Joseph of Vatopaidi Monastery (found at www.pemptousia.com) At the beginning of practical repentance, no matter how hard one is struggling one cannot achieve, as he imagined, his redemption nor can he be freed from the limitations of the ‘old self’ (παλαιόν άνθρωπον). Initially, he simply tries to control his sinful intentions and stop his practical submission to the passions and the sinful customs. He finally stops borrowing and begins to think about pay off. Sometimes he happily repels his passions and temptations, and at other times this becomes painful. Then he begins comparing to the best of his ability, how far he still is from true spiritual life, especially when his behavior towards others is improper. At this point he is presented with the need to blame himself and this leads him to humility without which there is no social life. Such task needs patience and perseverance, but the complete success only depends on God’s grace and “has nothing to do with us”.
The Lord of the entire universe is truly encouraging us. He is the one who says: “Take heart, I have overcome the world!”(John 16, 33) Our real triumph is not the fact that these guarantees are being offered by the All Mighty Creator and God, but by Him as a person as well. The winner of the world, that is the winner of sin or rather the winner of all sin in all worlds and all time, the person Jesus Christ has become transcendent so that He renders transcendent all His followers. When we heed the divine commandments in our whole life, we are heading exactly towards the same victory. “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples” (John 15, 7-8). We are only made worthy of this with Him (εν αυτώ) and by the power of His grace. There is no other path. No one else is capable of leading us, or of revealing to us the mysteries of divine treasures which are beyond nature, “for in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form” (Colossians 2,9). He alone contained in a single, eternal, divine deed the entire universe, the heavens, the earth as well as the infernal regions. If we decisively follow in His footsteps and remain steadfast in His teachings, we are able to perceive through His illumination, to participate in His transcendental “BEING” to the measure of our repentance.
He who humbly repents feels that he embraces not just the visible but also the invisible creation by the power of love which spills over from his heart. This is so because this kind of prayer is most welcomed by God and an indication that he has acquired a “crashed spirit”. He, therefore, becomes, just as our Jesus, “all things to all men” (1 Corinthians 9, 22).
From now on, he who has tasted this sweetness let him be prepared to also taste the corresponding bitterness which is the result of the changes. Mother grace, which has so affectionately consoled and fortified the repenting soul and has saved it from the effects of temptations and ignorance; which has raised it to perceive so many mysteries, suddenly becomes merciless and hides her presence. The repenting soul knocks at the door of repentance in vain; it knocks at the same door which had immediately being opened in the past. Everything everywhere looks gloomy and there is no help from anyone. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”(Matthew 27, 46) There is no Simon Canaanite to lift our cross. Even if we thrice or many times cry out we are not able to clearly perceive the response. There is only one secret consolation: hope has not been extinguished but it silently encourages the fighter: “Do not be afraid. Just believe”. Let me rather cite the words of our great Father, the most Holy Elder Silouan: “Keep your mind in hell and do not despair”.
The saying : “I put on sackcloth and humbled myself with fasting” ( Psalm 35,13) becomes our daily duty as well as this one: “my tears have been my food day and night” ( Psalm 42,3). Then again we remember our Lord’s encouraging words: “I will see you again and you will rejoice” (John 16, 22).
Serenity follows brainstorming and calm seas follow stormy waters. Grace reappears after the test of partial desertion; the soul begins to triumphantly chant: “You my Lord removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy” (Psalm 30, 12). The presence of the divine grace grace after the testing period is of higher value and “sweeter than honey, honey from the comb” (Psalm 19, 10) because it enhances the perception of the divine love more than the soul had ever known before. Humility is also improved, since human worthlessness is being revealed compared to the might of the divine love and the soul confesses with crashed spirit: “It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees” (Psalms 119,72 … “I know o Lord that you laws are righteous” ( Psalm 119, 75 …“I have suffered much; renew my life o Lord, according to your word” (Psalm 119,107). This deep sense of humility expands man’s spiritual powers and introduces him to the realm of freedom. We come to perceive our “gentle and humble in heart” Jesus in humility and this is the meaning of “you will know the truth and the truth will set you free” (John 8, 32).
Thereafter, we enter the realm of the new creation and restored nature, where the air and the climate, according to our blessed elder, are different. The proprietors of this state become sons of the new age, according to Saint Makarius, and come to develop different kind of senses. “What is mortal is swallowed up by life” (2 Corinthians 5, 4). Our senses are completely revived so that they no longer behave irrationally but only as “in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness” (Romans 6, 19). Let no one think, however, that this luxury comes handy and effortlessly to anyone, but only after his victory over a tough trial of being patient in the face of temptation, through which the divine grace tests and tempts the fighters. “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on rock and gave me a firm place to stand” (Psalm 40, 1-2). This saying comes from David’s psalms, who wishing to declare the hyperbolic degree of something, repeats the word “ypomenon ypemeina”( I waited patiently): I have excelled myself in the state of perseverance. This is what draws the Lord’s attention. He subsequently “lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire”. These are the deprivations and the desperation which follow harsh temptations. Then, “He set my feet on rock and gave me a firm place to stand”. “The rock” on which He set his feet is the acquired state of freedom. “The firm place” is the virtue of discernment. This is how the “old self” is being renewed. Soon, those who receive Christ with faith, conceive the hitherto strangeness of his teaching as the absolute truth. Man recognizes his worthlessness and comes towards the Father who has no beginning. He regards everything else as made of stone, as corrupted and worthless and the desire for prayer attracts him towards the personal, living God. He comes to perceive Him by His emptying of himself, since He went down to the infernal realm, down to Hades and subsequently ascended above all heaven and sat to the right of the Father in order to fulfill everything. Therefore from now on, He is the path and only through Him each one of us is able to come to the Father: “No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14,6).
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